Lonesome bedtime last night because the mama is away on a business trip. The first half of the conversation is no uncommon:

I don't wanna go to sleep now, Tete!
You have to go to sleep, it's past your bed time.
But Mama's gonna say "Why I'm not over there?"
You don't have to be on the shoe rack, Baby! You have to be in bed.
No Mama's gonna say "Why I'm not over there?"
Oh! ( I realized she was referring to the front door, not the shoe rack. She uses entirely too many pronouns.) Mama's not coming home today, Baby.
But Mama say she just gonna go for a little bit. (getting upset)
She'll be back very soon, Baby, just not today. She's already sleeping today, I already said labanaktis to her.
Uh...(concerned) they have a bed in Finland?

Those anglo vs. franco nuances in English can be confusing

"I'm hungry."
"What do you want?"
"Pig."
"You mean pork?"
"No, I want pig, it's tasty!"

An hour later...

"Where you going?"
"To the kitchen to make some dinner."
"What're you gonna make, a pig?"
*I'm laughing out loud*
"Come on, Tete, I want you make a pig!"

Holy Goldenrod

Can she read?! My kid likes very much to watch me play Snood (she doesn't like the skulls). Today I got a new high score on the most difficult setting, Evil. I didn't point, I just said "I got the number one high score!" So first she points to the number one high score and says it's my score, no big deal, she knows her numbers, plus it was highlighted. But then she points to high score number six, which she got over a year ago and couldn't possibly remember, and says that it's hers. How'd she do that?

Eleventeen

Eleventeen is not a number, but how do you get that through a kid?

Kid: ...twelve, thirteen, fourteen, eleventeen....
I: No, there is eleventeen. After fourteen is fifteen.
Kid: Fifteen, eleventeen...
I: No, I said there is no eleventeen! After fifteen is sixteen: fifteen, sixteen, seventeen.
Kid: Eleventeen...
I: NO! There is NO eleventeen!
Kid: Fifteen, eleventeen...
I: NO! After fifteen is sixteen, there is NO eleventeen!
Kid: fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eleventeen...

I know she's not doing it on purpose, but it seems pretty weird to me. Did I do that when I was a kid?

I was so almost right

My special lady called me a "kuilys" just now, and when I denied it she accused me of not even having any idea what it even is. I guessed it's a castrated bull's penis, and she laughed at how wrong I was: it's a non-castrated male pig. Now come on, farm animal, something having to do with castration, was I just about as close as you can get without being right on the nose or what?!

Bilingual Bloopers

My special kid often helps me make dinner, or at least keeps me company in the kitchen. Tonight we were in there and I was chopping vegetables. She said, "Tėtė your knife is very spicy." I said "What! What are you talking about?!" And then I realized why she used that word: in Lithuanian, spicy and sharp are homonyms (aštrus).

Election 2008

After we came home from work/kindergarten:

My Special Child: We gonna watch Futurama?
I: No.
Child: Why?
I: I'm in a terrible mood.
Child: Why?
I: Because the Republican Party lost the presidency and much of Congress.
Child: Why?
I: I don't know. I think McCain's a wussy and 52% of American are stupid.
Child: Why?
I: Probably because they don't read enough intelligent newspapers.
Child: ...but they have to read!

We've got a child in the rearing who will never vote stupid.