Lonesome bedtime last night because the mama is away on a business trip. The first half of the conversation is no uncommon:

I don't wanna go to sleep now, Tete!
You have to go to sleep, it's past your bed time.
But Mama's gonna say "Why I'm not over there?"
You don't have to be on the shoe rack, Baby! You have to be in bed.
No Mama's gonna say "Why I'm not over there?"
Oh! ( I realized she was referring to the front door, not the shoe rack. She uses entirely too many pronouns.) Mama's not coming home today, Baby.
But Mama say she just gonna go for a little bit. (getting upset)
She'll be back very soon, Baby, just not today. She's already sleeping today, I already said labanaktis to her.
Uh...(concerned) they have a bed in Finland?

Those anglo vs. franco nuances in English can be confusing

"I'm hungry."
"What do you want?"
"Pig."
"You mean pork?"
"No, I want pig, it's tasty!"

An hour later...

"Where you going?"
"To the kitchen to make some dinner."
"What're you gonna make, a pig?"
*I'm laughing out loud*
"Come on, Tete, I want you make a pig!"

Holy Goldenrod

Can she read?! My kid likes very much to watch me play Snood (she doesn't like the skulls). Today I got a new high score on the most difficult setting, Evil. I didn't point, I just said "I got the number one high score!" So first she points to the number one high score and says it's my score, no big deal, she knows her numbers, plus it was highlighted. But then she points to high score number six, which she got over a year ago and couldn't possibly remember, and says that it's hers. How'd she do that?

Eleventeen

Eleventeen is not a number, but how do you get that through a kid?

Kid: ...twelve, thirteen, fourteen, eleventeen....
I: No, there is eleventeen. After fourteen is fifteen.
Kid: Fifteen, eleventeen...
I: No, I said there is no eleventeen! After fifteen is sixteen: fifteen, sixteen, seventeen.
Kid: Eleventeen...
I: NO! There is NO eleventeen!
Kid: Fifteen, eleventeen...
I: NO! After fifteen is sixteen, there is NO eleventeen!
Kid: fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eleventeen...

I know she's not doing it on purpose, but it seems pretty weird to me. Did I do that when I was a kid?

I was so almost right

My special lady called me a "kuilys" just now, and when I denied it she accused me of not even having any idea what it even is. I guessed it's a castrated bull's penis, and she laughed at how wrong I was: it's a non-castrated male pig. Now come on, farm animal, something having to do with castration, was I just about as close as you can get without being right on the nose or what?!

Bilingual Bloopers

My special kid often helps me make dinner, or at least keeps me company in the kitchen. Tonight we were in there and I was chopping vegetables. She said, "Tėtė your knife is very spicy." I said "What! What are you talking about?!" And then I realized why she used that word: in Lithuanian, spicy and sharp are homonyms (aštrus).

Election 2008

After we came home from work/kindergarten:

My Special Child: We gonna watch Futurama?
I: No.
Child: Why?
I: I'm in a terrible mood.
Child: Why?
I: Because the Republican Party lost the presidency and much of Congress.
Child: Why?
I: I don't know. I think McCain's a wussy and 52% of American are stupid.
Child: Why?
I: Probably because they don't read enough intelligent newspapers.
Child: ...but they have to read!

We've got a child in the rearing who will never vote stupid.

Moans and Groans

My special girl has begun moaning and groaning. Whenever she's told to hurry up or do something she doesn't want to do she groans dramatically, and whenever she doesn't get something she wants or gets something she doesn't, she makes long wailing moans. Since when do kids make so many mouth noises???

GET LOST!

There's this one girl in my special baby's kindergarten group that is a bad seed, a rotten apple if you will. If my girl brings a toy to kindergarten, the bad one breaks it. If my girl come home minus a barrette or something, the bad one borrowed it. If she comes home and says a bad word, guess who she picked it up from. Telling my girl not to play with her only resulted in her not mentioning it anymore. So I tried something more active than avoidance. I told my girl to tell the bad one to "get lost." Actually it's "eik švilpt," which means go whistle, but it's the same thing, a polite version of piss off. I told her this on Friday, and totally forgot about it.

On Tuesday we went to kindergarten after the long weekend, and as my girl sat down to change the bad one sat down next to her. Immediately my girl lashed out at her in an impressively angry tone, "eik švilpt!" Their teacher was right there and, though shocked by the terminology, was impressed that my girl would tell her friend "not to bother her while she's busy changing." That's how she put it to me, thinking I might not have understood the slang.

I'll have to ask the teacher when I pick up my girl if she repeat it hundreds of times through the day, ala when she got a watch. She said to whoever was around, approximately once a minute for the whole day, while shoving the watch in his face, "let's see what time it is!"

Water Colors

That's a nice picture, what is it?
Something is something is falling down.
A thing or a person?
A people.
A "person."
A person.
Then you have to say "somebody."
So somebody is falling down.
Why did you draw somebody falling down?
Because somebody was going and not being careful like this (swiveling head) and fall down!