Stupid Birds

Did you have fun chasing the birds?
Yes, I scared ALL of them!

Halloween Ideas

Tėtė: What should I be for Halloween?
Daughter: Tėtė.
Tėtė: But I'm Tėtė every day.
Daughter: I don't know.
Tėtė: Don't you remember dressing up for Halloween?
Daughter: Yes.
Tėtė: So who should I be this time?
Daughter: Mama.

For Cereal

#2 doesn't know why the term for cereal is funny, but she knows it's some kind of joke.

"Tete, I wanna play with you."

"For cereal?"

*sigh* "Yes...for cereal."

Apron Styling

Made some banana bread with the kid, she goes "Čia Močiutei?" (This is for Grandma?)

Her job was to mix in the flour at the end, so she had to hold the wooden spoon for an extended period. Each time she dropped she yelled "Nesulaužiau!" (I didn't break it)

When I finally got the flour out she said "What's this?" Flour. "Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

She finally mixed if for a minute and her hand got tired. That's fine, do you wanna grease the pans? "No. Bet aš vistiek gražiai atrodau." (But I look nice anyway) Sure you do. Wait is that why you said you wanna help me, just so you can put on your apron? "Yes."

Reading

Phone call:

What's up?
Hi Tete.
What are you doing?
I'm just reading.
What are you reading?
That book I got from Santa Claus, Nina.
Nina Sharp, from Fringe?
No.
So what's it about?
I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know?
It's about alot of things, it's not just one part.
So tell me everything you know so far.
I don't know anything.
What do you mean, aren't you reading it?
Yeah but I don't know anything yet.
How can you know nothing? What's the first part about?
A black star.
Well what's the black star do? Is it bad, or good?
I don't know!
What did you read about it? Nothing?
I just got hungry.
So wait, you sat down to read, opened up the first chapter, saw that it's called Black Star, then took a break?
I didn't take a break I just got hungry.
You got hungry so you took a bread to eat, right?
Yes.
Alright, well good luck reading that book.

Assignment: Presentation about Indians. Primary resource: Disney's Pocahontas

Watched this movie with both the kids for #1's assignment because the only story I know about native Americans is gruesome (the one from American Gods). After Cocoa died #2 started crying pretty seriously, but after the movie she wanted to watch more.

So what did #1 learn from the movie?

"The Indians wanted to kill the humans."

Kaip Tu gyveni?

Gerai. Suvalgiau saldaini, sokolado ir surio.

Trying to Chat while Working

How can Santa Claus see me?

Like God, I guess.

Maybe because he has a computer?

Yeah, maybe.

How come apples make your teeth nice?

Cause they clean your teeth when you eat them.

What! What are they, magic?

Yeah, sure.

Language Differentiation

Her: Noriu sausainio.

Me: ...

Her: Noriu sausainio.

Me: ...

Her: Noriu cookie.

Me: Speak English.

Her: English.

Me: No, ask for a cookie in English.

Her: English.

Me: Say, wanna cookie.

Her: Wanna cookie!

Organs and Song

Daughter threw up, Mama told her it's because her stomach stopped working. She said, "Really, my stomach?! Good thing it wasn't my heart!"

Baby sings a song in the car:

Dainuoju daina

Dainuoju daina

Mama

Love Is

"I love you."

"Mmm hmm."

"Say, 'I love you.'"

"Hmm?"

"Okay, just start with 'I,' say 'I'"

And she points to my face and shouts, "eye!"

Don't Poop

Her: I wanna play something with you Tete.

Me: If Mama will play we can play Mamma Mia.

Her: Mama ar Tu žaisi Mamma Mia?

She: Gerai.

Her: Yea, she said yes, Tete, take out the game!

Me: Okay, just wait a minute, I have to go to the bathroom first.

Her: Just don't poop.

Me: Why not?

Her: Cause it takes so much time.

She may not completely grasp the concept of Sid Meyer's Alpha Centauri

Me: You can build recycling tanks, that will give you one extra food, mineral, and energy each turn, but if you build a recreation commons you can put this drone down onto the forest, then you get two minerals, plus the food and energy.

Her: I wanna build this [command center].

Me: Why do you want a command center? You're not even at war with anybody.

Her: It looks nice.

Me: If you just build what looks nice instead of what's useful you won't win this game. It doesn't matter what it looks like.

Her: I was just sayin...that it looks nice!

You'd Better be More Careful When Misspeaking

My daughter meant to say pistoletas, which means pistol. By accident, she said pyzdoletas, which isn't a real word, but sounds like it could mean one of the following:

• pussy pistol
• pussy wagon
• cum dumpster

Yikes! I don't know which one is the worst...

Sleep Talking

"Ne. Ne. Ne. Ne. Ne."

The baby only says no in Lithaunian, not English, and she only says it if I'm not watching. She doesn't say it in a mean way, well, I guess that's not possible for a baby. She says it in a way that sounds mocking. I guess whatever she's dreaming, it ain't I.

Sisterly Advice

As the baby was walking around with a full diaper, the five year old says to her, "You know, you'll never land yourself a husband if you poop your pants."

First Word

Baby's first work in English is book.

I've been dragging the Lord of the Rings around the house with me recently. She kept pointing at it and asking Kas čia, and I kept saying What's this—book. Soon she started repeating, each time, ba.

Ba = book

Tooth Fairy

Thursday
Kid's got a loose tooth. I thought five and a quarter's a little early for loosing teeth, but having spoken to my father that's exactly when I lost my first one too. I take a wiggle at it, and it's loose alright, but not loose enough for it to drop out and get swallowed by accident. Let it be. Thank God, cause for some reason I find the idea of pulling someone else's teeth out kinda disgusting.

Friday
Kid comes home sans her bottom front right tooth. Just as well, cause apparently it was starting to get in her way: Friday mornings I teach English to her kindergarten class, but she didn't attend that morning because she "couldn't barely talk through her loose tooth!" Say what? Anyway, we got Tetukas on skype to show him, and he asked her if she lost it in a bar fight. "Nooooooooo," she said, "I pulled it out myself!" She might have said pull, actually, she hasn't quite mastered past tense use in English yet.

Saturday
The tooth fairy came in the night and brought her a fiver. I can tell you it certainly wasn't I, I was too afraid of getting caught--I'm not great at sneaking quietly. Five is sort of alot, I think, and Tetukas agrees, but my special lady insisted that you can't buy anything with two, which is the next unit of currency down. That turned out not to be true. The ice cream she and I buy costs 2.50, but the ice cream my daughter chose only costs 1.59, a disgusting lime ice cream/sherbet, so two would have done it. Would it be weird if the tooth fairy brought less next time? We could always say it's normal to get more for the first tooth, just to make losing teeth more appealing, the old bait'n'switch. On the other hand, it makes little difference: what my daughter did with her five is buy herself an ice cream, me an ice cream, and then chip in the rest of her five for the ice creams I bought to bring home to my special lady and Egle, who was visiting.

Kindergarten Boozebags

Last week in my kindergarten English class we did vegetables one day. We learned the words carrot, cucumber, and tomato, and then each child told me which vegetable he likes most. Yesterday I decided to do fruits, but I only had two typical fruits. Two isn't a good number, though, so I added a lime. It's colorful, so who cares, right? Here's the really odd thing, though: two of the kids then told me limes are their favorite fruit of the three choices! I'm thinkin' damn, these two must really hate apples and oranges to choose an unknown, or else we got a couple margarita swilling kindergarten boozebags on our hands!

Ramaroddi

Last night I took my womenfolk out to the Ramazzotti Concert (kids under 7 free, otherwise there's no way in the whole wide world I would have taken them). I'm not really into his music, by my special lady is gaga for it, and I'm happy to expose the children, because most of it is quality music, not pop shit.

My special lady was thrilled to exhaustion, and the baby jumped herself into exhaustion too, passing out half way through the show. I was left with the child, and kept he behaved enough that the woman sitting in front of her only had to turn around twice. She like the show, but who has the patience for two hours of it? There were two major additions to the activities. One was watching me play backgammon on my phone...I mean, playing team backgammon against my phone. Then she requested we play normal backgammon rather than team backgammon, so I said we can play pretend backgammon: I feigned a roll of the dice and told her I got a six and a one; then she did the same, but she got double sixes!

The other addition was saying one of the following ("do like this" = indicating tickle me around my neck):

"Tete, now I gonna stand up and you do like this!"

"Tete, now I gonna sit down and you do like this!"