You'd Better be More Careful When Misspeaking

My daughter meant to say pistoletas, which means pistol. By accident, she said pyzdoletas, which isn't a real word, but sounds like it could mean one of the following:

• pussy pistol
• pussy wagon
• cum dumpster

Yikes! I don't know which one is the worst...

Sleep Talking

"Ne. Ne. Ne. Ne. Ne."

The baby only says no in Lithaunian, not English, and she only says it if I'm not watching. She doesn't say it in a mean way, well, I guess that's not possible for a baby. She says it in a way that sounds mocking. I guess whatever she's dreaming, it ain't I.

Sisterly Advice

As the baby was walking around with a full diaper, the five year old says to her, "You know, you'll never land yourself a husband if you poop your pants."

A Stiff Drink

When you ask your kid to pour you a drink, make sure you specify how much...otherwise you may get a zealous glass of whiskey spilling over the sides.

First Word

Baby's first work in English is book.

I've been dragging the Lord of the Rings around the house with me recently. She kept pointing at it and asking Kas čia, and I kept saying What's this—book. Soon she started repeating, each time, ba.

Ba = book

What a Stand Up Baby

On the 4th of July my special baby gave her first standing ovation--to herself for standing up! She stood straight up for the first time in her life a started clapping. She kept doing it for nearly a minute, right up until we got the camera out. Then she toppled over and cried a lot.

Kooshonite

I found out my baby daughter's kryptonite, it's koosh balls. We got this big koosh ball that she'll pull on the little strings or whatever they're called, but she's afraid of actually holding the whole thing. I realize that's the perfect way to keep her away from my computer tower. And if you roll the koosh ball at her she scrambles away hilariously!