Softening Curse Words

God Fuckin Damn It = Godfried Daniel*
Son of a Bitch = Son of a Bee Sting
Piece of Shit = Piece of Shiz
Asshole = Asinine
Blet = Blast†

Fuckface = ________?
Bastard = _______?

*Godfried Daniel is a curse word taken from the ridiculous Fire Sign Theater, the Beatles of Comedy.
† If you feel, after saying Blast, that you're not done swearing yet, you can extend it to Blast from the Past

Which job is whose?

Tete: if you're taking your plate to the kitchen, take this one too.
Daughter: but that's not my plate!
Tete: well, you're always saying you want to help, so here's a chance to help! You gotta take all the plates, not just your own.
Daughter: but I'm not Mama, I'm just a girl!

She's as lazy as her father.